3 Ideas in 2 Minutes on How to Stay Calm
An Easy Life, How to Detach & the Late Night FM DJ Voice
I. An Easy Life
What got you all riled up today? For me, it was the neighbours partying till 4 am. While we can’t control who or what bothers us, we can control our reactions to it. Entrepreneur and philosopher Naval Ravikant knows the secret to an easy life:
Choose the non-emotional response to any given situation and see how much easier your life becomes.
That’s easier said than done of course. How can we help this ‘choice’ along?
II. How to Detach
Podcaster and former U.S. Navy Seal Jocko Willink refers to it as ‘detaching’. Here he explains how to detach from an emotional situation:
First of all, if you want to detach, step back. Literally, step back. […] If you’re in a business environment, step away from the computer. Put down your pen, back away. You’re in a heated meeting and you need to detach? Stand up and back away from the table. Literally step back and step away.
Once you do that, you relax. Now look, that physical part, it’s a physical reminder of what to do. You can get to a point in your life where you don’t need to do that. Or where you usually don’t have to do that. But things can still escalate quickly where even the most highly trained detached person still has to step back and take a wrap off and take a look around. […]
Now take a breath, look around and make a call. That’s it. That’s how easy it is to detach. The actual hard part of detachment is being self-aware enough that you know when to detach. That’s the challenging part.
—Jocko Willink, Jocko Podcast #55
III. The Late Night FM DJ Voice
The Late Night FM DJ Voice is another way to calm things down. It’s a soothing tone of voice reminiscent of a late-night radio presenter’s easygoing attitude. It was coined by negotiation expert Chris Voss:
Use selectively to make a point. Inflect downward, keeping it calm and slow. When done properly, you create an aura of authority and trustworthiness without triggering defensiveness.
—Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference
Our brains don’t work that well when we’re under stress. The Late Night FM DJ Voice can be used to de-escalate a situation if our counterpart is upset or confrontational. According to Voss, using the voice can also have a soothing effect on our own minds when we’re in a heated situation.
In case you’re interested, I’ve reviewed Chris Voss’ book here. 🐘
Have a great week,
P.S.: Check out my latest essay on 5 Inspiring Naval Quotes: How His Practical Philosophy Can Change Lives.